Commute an on-campus quest for Woods


Mr. Woods’ house, pictured from the school, several feet away.

Michael Jenks

We all know that some students have a long commute to school but Mr. Woods has the longest trek to the school.

He has to travel an entire 200 feet one way. Not to mention the troll bridge, the forest of doom, the random side quests, the endless desert, and all of the traffic. 

Mr. Woods

Luckily for him he has the companionship of his pet talking donkey and his wizard friend that had the most magical playlists to keep him from getting bored in the traffic.

When interviewed he gave us the solution to each problem on his epic journey. ¨Oh Timmy the troll?¨ said Mr. Woods ¨he’s a good friend of mine, we play poker together every Saturday night.¨

When asked about the forest of doom he was quoted saying ¨Just don’t ask the trees for directions, they’re never right.¨

Our main concern here at Tiller-Trail Times is why Mr. Woods knows how to speak to trees?

“The side quests are a great way to make some extra money for Costco pizzas,” said Woods. He claims his favorite part of the journey is the endless desert because it reminds him of his days in Texas with his cousin Squint Eastwood.

“The worst part of the trip is when all 823,638,247,460,563 of my Costco pizzas get cold when waiting in traffic” was his final remark.